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“They’re not being as enthusiastic when they’re approaching more desirable partners.” Strangely, the men’s strategy seemed to work.In all four cities, men had slightly lower reply rates from women when they wrote more positively worded messages.“That was a surprising finding — I was not expecting that,” Bruch said.On the other hand, it could mean that people try to find slightly more attractive mates – which results in the same pattern as the most desirable partners pair off, followed by the next most desirable, and so on.The problem is that looking at established couples leaves out the actual process of courtship – which could tell you much more about what people look for in a mate, how they woo them and how often they’re rejected.“What you don’t observe is all the people who asked out someone who said ‘no’ – which is really the information you need if you want to understand desirability hierarchies,” said lead author Elizabeth Bruch, a computational sociologist at the University of Michigan.Or did they know that they were seeking out relatively more attractive mates?
Men, however, did the opposite: They sent less positively worded messages to more desirable women.“My coauthor and I used to joke that the men are playing it cool,” Bruch said.
Another common tactic men and women employed was to send desirable prospects longer messages – but it didn’t really seem to result in a higher response rate, she said.
There was one exception: Seattle men had the “most pronounced” rise in message length for desirable partners, and the strategy actually seemed to work, resulting in a higher response rate.
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In the meantime, Bruch said the findings from Seattle – where men wrote longer messages and were also rewarded for it, in contrast to New York, Boston and Chicago – has inspired her to look deeper into the differences in dating experiences between different [email protected] @aminawrite on Twitter for more science news and “like” Los Angeles Times Science & Health on Facebook.