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“Search for people who meet your criteria and really read their emails.” But here’s the mistake a lot of women, shy or not, make on dating sites: don’t leave all the grunt work to the gentlemen. It might make you nervous, but think how much easier it is to write a message than to walk up to a stranger and strike up a conversation.“Send an email to people who appeal to you,” says Pina. If you don’t reach out to people, it’s almost as bad as staying at home and doing nothing.” Afraid you’ll appear too forward by kickstarting a conversation?

“It helps you to relax and helps you talk about something you’re passionate about.“They think that God is going to bring them the right one, and then they wait too long.So many great years go by when they could’ve been dating.“It really works better for women when they’re the initiator. “Sending an email is not going to show you’re aggressive,” says Pina. Throw it out there and know not to take it personally if he doesn’t respond. If not, it’s not about me.’” Joining an online site and exchanging messages with potential suitors may seem like the last to-do, but it’s really just the beginning.Shy girls sometimes sign up for dating sites, and find someone they click with, but then never take the dates offline.

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“When I was a matchmaker, I found that [my clients] just wanted to talk about dates, not why they were attracting the wrong type of person in the first place,” says Pina.

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